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Drabble #6: No need to explain–

It’s simple really. If you don’t like it, get rid of it. It it makes you unhappy, let it go – it might as well be this physically real white-hot piece of metal you’re holding on to. No need to explain. You won’t owe anyone a single apology. The universe will work against you no matter what you do anyway, so might as well assert yourself where you can.

Thing is, it all just evens out in the end.

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Sleep, stop playing hard to get.

Also, why bother counting sheep when you can count fluffy Alpacasso to sleep! I really want one… But are they even available here. =A= 

Time check: It’s 10:50 in the evening when I’m writing this paltry excuse to not go to sleep. I have work at 10am later, which automatically grants me the responsibility of sleeping at the right time. You know, so I don’t oversleep and things. Too bad, though, that I’m a rather irresponsible individual; the unfortunate scenario of me waking up just minutes before I’m due at work has unfolded morning after morning since summer’s started

I suspect that body is trying to get over the horrors second semester put it through. For some perspective, here’s my second semester routine in a nutshell: wake up minutes before class starts –> rush to class with food in mouth –> skip lunch because of class –>go to work –>  go home and worry excessively about school work –> skip dinner because of schoolwork –> sleep late because of schoolwork; rinse and repeat. It’s a schedule that looks like it’d belong to some kind of overworked student who gets good results, but really, all it’s produced for me is mediocre grades and a lot of pent up stress. I hope it subsides quickly.

The first few weeks of summer are usually spent on sleep and a blissful sort of laziness – I find that the restlessness associated with long vacations usually kicks in by mid-May. At least, that was before I started spending summer vacations working at my aunt’s summer school, trying to convince kids that math and science are actually fun things. I actually love this job — seriously, teaching –  it’s the best. Although one of the downsides is that it’s unveiled to me this new kind of fear of teaching my kids the wrong things. Also, whenever summer ends, I start the school year with an icky, chalk-dust induced cold that takes its time in leaving.

Time check: it’s 12am now. I know, that’s not a lot of writing done in such a span of time, but it’s helped. I’m now a bit drowsier. I would’ve been a lot more drowsier if a random cockroach didn’t decide to harass me by crawling all over my foot and bed. Now my brain’s sorta swimming in adrenaline. Oh well.

Maybe next time, i’ll actually take the time to write some kind of reflection of the state of things in my life and come up with some definite… measure of things (I like using words for that purpose).  Because that’d be a lot easier than guessing all the time.

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Summer, I’m waiting for you. And I know you’re waiting for me too.

ImageI realized today that all I want from life is to spend as much time as I want gazing at something that has caught my eye without having to worry about what comes next.

Slightly unrelated note:

This photo means a lot more to me than just being something nice to look at. I took this photo with a camera phone (Samsung Eternity, I think?) when I decided one day that the lack of a good camera would not stop me from practicing composition. And so ever since, I’ve been enjoying using my camera phone to snap random photos every now and then.

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College, College Life, Drabbles, Writing

Drabble #5: Surprise yourself.

Note: This is an update to the sob post I posted just a few hours ago. So right after writing that last entry, I mulled things over and decided to get over my apprehensions and go to my dorm’s formal anyway. I told myself that, if anybody asked, i’d say I was there for the food. Long story short, things didn’t turn out the way the way I thought they would (story of every college party, eh? haha) and here’s what I came up with: 

Sometimes, you need to surprise yourself.

And you’ve got to go to parties you’ve already decided not to go to.

And you need to talk to people you think you’ll never relate to.

Because the truth is, you don’t actually know how things’ll turn out.

And there’s simply no reason for you to go on not knowing.

So put on that dress you never wear but keep in your closet anyway.

And slip on those heels that don’t feel quite right.

Get ready to do things you wouldn’t do on just any other night

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College, College Life, Drabbles

A petty sob post from me (because these are what blogs are for clearly).

Reasons why I’m in my room instead of my dorm’s Formal Dinner right now:

1.) I’m worried my cocktail dress won’t be good enough for entrance. Last time I didn’t dress “good enough” for the occasion, I wasn’t allowed to enter the dorm (my moogle costume wasn’t wacky enough for Wacky Day ;__;).

2.) I know I’ll be too worried about requirements to even enjoy the thing.

3.) Nobody to enjoy it with because I’ve estranged myself from my dorm friends. I feel so estranged.

… And these are the days i’ll look back on and remember fondly. *sob*

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College Life, Drabbles

Stop it brain, now’s not the time to remind me that i’m not doing anything creative with my life. Yes, I know I’ve been neglecting all the stuff I promised I’d start doing: taking good photos, listening to good music, reading good books, watching good movies and all that. Stop guilt tripping me brain, yes there is room in my life for beautiful things.

Just… just not right now. Not with life baring its pointy jaws at me. Not with finals staring me in the face and my with all these loose ends lying around.

But at this point, you and I both know I’m just throwing excuses around. And I’m running out of good ones.

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