College, College Life, Drabbles, Writing

Drabble #5: Surprise yourself.

Note: This is an update to the sob post I posted just a few hours ago. So right after writing that last entry, I mulled things over and decided to get over my apprehensions and go to my dorm’s formal anyway. I told myself that, if anybody asked, i’d say I was there for the food. Long story short, things didn’t turn out the way the way I thought they would (story of every college party, eh? haha) and here’s what I came up with: 

Sometimes, you need to surprise yourself.

And you’ve got to go to parties you’ve already decided not to go to.

And you need to talk to people you think you’ll never relate to.

Because the truth is, you don’t actually know how things’ll turn out.

And there’s simply no reason for you to go on not knowing.

So put on that dress you never wear but keep in your closet anyway.

And slip on those heels that don’t feel quite right.

Get ready to do things you wouldn’t do on just any other night

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College, College Life, Drabbles

A petty sob post from me (because these are what blogs are for clearly).

Reasons why I’m in my room instead of my dorm’s Formal Dinner right now:

1.) I’m worried my cocktail dress won’t be good enough for entrance. Last time I didn’t dress “good enough” for the occasion, I wasn’t allowed to enter the dorm (my moogle costume wasn’t wacky enough for Wacky Day ;__;).

2.) I know I’ll be too worried about requirements to even enjoy the thing.

3.) Nobody to enjoy it with because I’ve estranged myself from my dorm friends. I feel so estranged.

… And these are the days i’ll look back on and remember fondly. *sob*

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College Life, Drabbles

Stop it brain, now’s not the time to remind me that i’m not doing anything creative with my life. Yes, I know I’ve been neglecting all the stuff I promised I’d start doing: taking good photos, listening to good music, reading good books, watching good movies and all that. Stop guilt tripping me brain, yes there is room in my life for beautiful things.

Just… just not right now. Not with life baring its pointy jaws at me. Not with finals staring me in the face and my with all these loose ends lying around.

But at this point, you and I both know I’m just throwing excuses around. And I’m running out of good ones.

{ }

Aside
College, College Life, Drabbles, Writing

Drabble #3: And perhaps this is what growing up is about.

     It is about learning, one mistake at a time. It is about losing things and earning them back. It is thinking about all the things you can’t possibly ever do and accomplishing them one by one. It the late nights spent dreaming, eyes wide open, heart on the verge of bursting. It is about giving chase, losing track, and picking up the scent of things forgotten. It’s about being wronged and doing right. It’s about breaking things and picking up the pieces. It’s about fixing things and accepting they will never be quite the same. It’s about making things and figuring out what to do with them —

***

I don’t know about you guys, but I had a pretty eventful weekend. 

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College Life, Writing

Two in the morning.

2am

It is two in the morning when it hits you – an idea so peerless that your mind is jolted awake, like a shot of hot espresso to your sleep-deprived system. You stumble into one of those rare moments fueled by purpose, and you scramble out of bed in the middle of the night looking for some way to pin your thoughts down before they flutter beyond your reach.

3am

It is three in the morning when you find yourself trying to fit the idea into words, puzzled by your inability to express in precision the whirring in your thoughts. Up close, you see dents and rough edges on what was once a brilliant idea (you forget, ideas are rarely perfect, dear writer) and you try your best to smooth out the surface until it’s worn out from your meddling.

You won’t admit it, but you were half-expecting it to write itself, this inkling of an idea that possessed you at such an ungodly hour. But in your hands, the pen feels cold, and the paper before you, a vast expanse you can’t possibly tread.

4am

At 4am, all you have to be proud of is a mess of words, feelings, and ink on paper, the spark from earlier doused by the heaviness of your lack of sleep. You have work in the morning, but you try not to think about it as you climb back into bed, the dying warmth of what could have been dissipating as you finally pull the sheets over your head.

[fin]

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College Life

Of rainy days, college, math exams, and everything in between.

Where I come from, the rain’s a sinister thing that’s out to ruin your day. It’s not the romantic kind of shower you find in the movies, or the depressing downpour you walk under to when you feel the urge to contemplate about life. What we constantly have back here is the raging, angry kind of rain that will crush you the moment you challenge it, umbrella at hand. Keep safe and stay indoors.

I’ve been stuck in my dorm for the past four days because of the not-quite-typhoon that’s apparently tearing it’s way through the capital. Meteorologists are saying it’s just another seasonal monsoon, but as far as I’m concerned, anything that’s caused this university to suspend classes for an entire week is legendary. I’m proud to be a part of history in the making as one of its thousands of students suffering/enjoying the sudden ten-day weekend.

The novelty of the suspension and the rain wore of somewhere around the third day though. After that, I was spending 12 hours of my day on sleep (it’s hard to resist in this cold weather) and entire afternoons reading this amusing webcomic and watching this particular anime which I have really confused feelings for. I’m surprised I even remember how to blow time off so inefficiently. It was nice at first, especially since my last major math exam just ended, but now it feels I can hear my brain begging for something productive to do just to keep up with the routine I’ve pegged myself to since college started.

College. I’m beginning to miss going to class a bit more just talking about it. Terribly. It’s been two months since I started going to school in a university named after the Philippines, two months since I moved into my dorm, two months since I started running marathons just to get on class on time, and two months since I started introducing myself as a math major to acquaintances (apparently, in college, it’s mandatory or something to include your major when introducing yourself; huh).

Two months of routine blown off by a waterlogged break. So here’s to the next few rainy days I’ll be spending coercing myself back into sleeping on time, reaching my quota of studying hours, and not skipping meals before classes kick in. And here’s to hoping everything dries up and everyone can get on with their lives. But before  anything, i’m off to spend another delightful afternoon reading through personified Scandinavian nations. Yay.

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